Values, Labels, and Authority, Oh My!

Lately there has been some talk about being "THAT mom", about values, and about 'letting' your kids do things. A lot of people have had something to say about it, and it would talk too long to go over everything, but in general the discussion has focused on whether parents should allow their kids to do things the parent disapproves of, on whether the parent should help the kid do things they would not choose for them. I think the point that needs to get across to those naysayers in the unschooling community and beyond is that you don't really have a choice. Your children will do whatever it is they want to do, and there is absolutely nothing - and I mean NOTHING - that you can do to stop them if that is what they really want. But it should also be taken into consideration that happy children - and teens - very rarely do anything that is harmful to themselves or others. I'm not saying "Of course your kid isn't going to do anything harmful!" because many people do. But if your kid is happy, content, provided for, and treated with respect, they are unlikely to have any desire whatsoever to be that person.

However.

Another point that needs must be presented is that just because your kid isn't engaging in any activities that are harmful to themselves or others, doesn't mean they aren't going to make you uncomfortable. Most kids grow up with values that are different from their parents in some way. They want different things for themselves. They believe different things. If you strongly believe that, for example, it is very important to improve your mind, there are a lot of people who would back you up and call this a good value to hold. I would even say that yes, improving your mind is always a good thing.

But what if your child doesn't agree? What if your child prefers physical activity to mental, or creative activity? What then? Do you force your child to learn about atoms and quadratic equation, or do you sign them up for a soccer team or buy them some modeling clay? The people who have been participating in this blog carnival, the people who are "That mom" or "That dad" or "That sister", are the kind who would rather see their children happy and doing what they love then see them doing what makes them, the mother or father or sister, happy, doing what THEY love. People who put down their own values for their children's, people who put down lesser wants for wanting their children to be truly happy.

I'm sure this doesn't address all the concerns people have voiced, or not voiced, but still. The main points are there. You can't stop your children doing what they want...and why would you want to?

Religion - Today's Topic of Contemplation

So, lately I've been thinking about religion and god(s) and why people need these things. Of course, it is generally acknowledged that a lot of people are religious for comfort reasons. I do understand that. I understand the comfort you could get from going "Hey, it's not MY fault things didn't turn out alright. It was the Lord/Allah/Zeus/Whoever." or "I can't do anything to solve this really terrible problem, but I'll pray, and God/Allah/Zeus/Whoever will fix it for me." I really do get where you're coming from, religious types. But I always just think the comfort bit is outweighed by the fear bit. Religion, even positive happy religions, are all about the fear. "Will I get into Heaven/Valhalla/Whatever?" is a big one. "If God/Allah/Zeus/Whoever lets bad things happen to THOSE good people, will he let bad things happen to me?" is another. And then there's the other fear. "What if I'm wrong?" Everyone is a Doubting Thomas sometimes during the religious life. Everyone questions the existence of God/Allah/Zeus/Whoever and Heaven/Valhalla/Whatever. They wonder if a different religion or form of thought is correct and they chose wrong. In other words, they are filled with fear.

I believe that I wasn't raised to be an atheist, but I was raised to be logical and scientific, and until someone shows me a big magical man/woman/creature who created the world and controls the fates of insignificant mortals, I simply won't believe he/she/it exists. I know a lot of people are agnostic, and there's no shame in that. That's actually a pretty scientific "I don't know." mentality there. But me, I believe men/women/creatures are innocent of creating the universe until someone can prove them guilty. I think we're just here, and we'll just go and that's all there is. No point, no purpose, just the random inevitably of all things.

That being said, I've been thinking about this, and found that my own brain defeats the idea that people believe in God/Allah/Zeus/Whatever because they find it comforting. We can't say all people take comfort in believing this is true, because, as I am discovering, I don't. The idea that there is something after death is unpleasant to me. The knowledge that when I am dead, I will simply be gone and that will be it is VERY comforting to me. It seems peaceful. I have always loved sleeping - it takes you away from your problems, takes you out of the world and nestles you safely in the comfort of your own mind. It seems to me death is just a sleep with no morning. Just peace. The lack of things to worry about. I have always said that the best thing about death is that you don't have to live with it - to me, this is very true. In a particularly good episode of the TV show "House", Dr. House voices the opinion that he prefers to believe this is all there is, because he would rather not think that this is just a test. This is another thing I believe and find comfort in.

Now, I'm not saying everybody should go out and kill themselves - I am a human being, and as such, have a distinct attachment to life. But it seems to me if I have to leave this world, I'd rather not just leave it for another one. Enjoyable as life can be, it can also be hard. Ever heard the phrase "This too shall pass"? I like that saying. There are good things and bad things about being alive, and if you have to give up the good things, wouldn't it be nicer to not have to do the bad things anymore, either?

Of course, if you believe in Heaven/Valhalla/Whatever, you believe that all there is after death is an eternity of happiness, but I don't think that is possible. Humans get bored easily. Eternity would just make us miserable. Isn't it more comforting to think that after we have lived our (preferably long) lives, we get to just go to sleep? Like coming home after a long, hard, day, all you want is to lie down and not have to work anymore. Yes, people should lead good lives, and long ones. I'm not suggesting that death is preferable to life. What I AM suggesting is that death is preferable to...forever. Think about the things about life that suck. The things that would still suck, even in Heaven/Valhalla/Whatever. Annoying people. Boredom. Your own insecurities. Stress. And just...living. Or afterliving. The every day wear and tear of Doing Things.

Wouldn't it be nice, at the end of everyThing you wanted to Do, to just...Stop?

And on the first day...

Chloe woke up very late that day and was then transported by Lynelle to Qacei's house. Qacei and Mary were all "Oh, it is Chloe, hi" and then Chloe and Qacei hung out. Shortly thereafter, Chloe and Qacei took it upon themselves to make a video. It was a very amazing video. This very amazing video that Chloe and Qacei had taken it upon themselves to make was TTLZVCBFOS3. the only issue here was that they didn't actually have the SCRIPT for TTLZVCBFOS3. But they had a little piece of the script, so they made that. This might sound simple, but in reality, it was very complicated. Who would play which parts? Where would they film? Did they have adequate props and costumes? Eventually, though, after many difficulties, many hours, and about ten thousand outtakes, the video came together, and they had filmed all the shots. Then they retired to the computer room and uploaded the shots onto Qacei's computer. They had like 59 shots, though, so they had to delete some of them and mesh some of them together and basically edit the whole three thousand pounds of film they would have used had their video not been digital.

Anyway, they did this, and it took them quite some time, but they managed it, and when they were done it was totally awesome and they put it on the internet for Zephyr to see and laugh at.

The End.

P.S. Don't tell Zephyr about this, cause he don't know yet.